It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
