Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
