it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Randomize
