Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Randomize
