Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
