At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
The feeling are messing with the penis
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
