me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
My underwear smells like fireworks.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Randomize
