He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Randomize
