That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize
