Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
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