Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
