I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
Randomize
