I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize
