Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
I have already put on my inside pants.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Randomize
