If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
the night ended with taco bell and tears
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Randomize
