There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Randomize