watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
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