Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
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