i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
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