it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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