Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
