Me too!
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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