it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
