thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
