I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize
