then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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