You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Randomize
