I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Randomize