My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
