Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
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