wanna go halves on a baby?
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
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