I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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