Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
It's rum buckets o'clock
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
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