ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
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