Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
Randomize
