who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
Randomize
