umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
The uberlube is also flammable
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
Randomize
