Porn is love you can see.
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
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