I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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