Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Randomize
