ya dads aren't the best wingmen
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
