So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
