Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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