just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
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