my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
Randomize
