woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
Randomize
