Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
Randomize
