Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
