i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
