i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
Randomize
